Expository writing
piece
“We are what we love. We are the things, the people, the
ideas we spend our days with…without the, we are empty.” Our identities are
complex and determined by many factors. One important factor that helps to
develop our identity and sense of belonging is relationships. Relationships can
impact our identity in many ways, both positively and negatively. They can also
give us a sense of belonging or a sense of isolation. Without relationships, we
would be completely different, our identities would be missing something, as
Daisy Whitney said, “we [would be] empty.”
According the Oxford
Dictionary, a relationship is “how people get on with each other”. Identity
is “who or what a person or thing is”, and to belong means “to have a proper
place”. Three words with such different meanings and yet, they are all so
closely related and have a significant effect on each other.
If I take a second to consider the people and relationships
in my life, both past and present, I am quite surprised by just how much of an
influence they have had on me. My parents have impacted me and my identity in a
big way. They have given me many of my traits such as to be caring, nice and
have taught me to aim high and do my best. My mum gave me a love of sport, she
encouraged me to play netball and tennis as she did, while my father gave me a
love of music, he encouraged me to sing, dance and, as he did, learn and
instrument. My sister influences me because she is older, she is someone for me
to look up to. My friends have an impact on my actions and attitudes. The
relationships in my life have shaped me as a person, they have influenced my
behaviour, beliefs and my values, but I also think about the ways in which I
have chosen to reject some of these. As a teenager, I don’t always listen to my
parents and often choose to follow my friends’ opinions and attitudes instead.
Personally I think that although relationships impact our identities, I think
that we pick and choose which relationships have a larger influence on us.
Relationships can give us a sense of belonging, or they can
make us feel isolated. Having good, supportive friends can make a person feel
welcome, accepted, appreciated and even respected, but if a person had a ‘bad’
relationship, for example they are bullied or abused, it can make them feel
depressed and desolate. I am fortunate enough to have a loving family who make
me feel loved, cared for, supported and as though I belong. My friends give me
a sense of welcome, caring, love and support as well.
As a teenager, I know how hard it is to fit in. some youths
are so desperate to fit in they sacrifice their own identity just to have
relationships. They feel as though they need to be someone else, someone they
are not just to feel as though they belong. This is when relationships can
impact negatively on a person’s identity. Many of the characters in the text Growing Up Asian in Australia felt as though they needed to be ‘white’ and
actually ‘look Aussie’ to be accepted by their classmates and fit in. On the
other hand, many felt this way until a friend came along and helped them out.
For example, in the story Wei-Li and Me Aditi
was bullied for being Asian and felt as though she didn’t belong until one day
Wei-Li arrived at school. While other students levelled cruel taunts at Wei-Li
because his name was pronounced ‘wee’, Aditi made friend with Wei-Li. Together
they were able to help each other, beat the school bullies and become best
friends. They felt a sense of belonging with each other and this allowed for
them to grow as people and develop their identities.
A person’s identity defines who they are and relationships
have a large impact on it. “People” can “[shape] who we become”, they can
distort one’s identity, or further develop it, they can damage or enhance one’s
sense of belonging.
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